This week, I mostly stayed off social media.

With the Sun in Taurus squaring Pluto in Aquarius, the internet has been buzzy and heels have definitely been dug in. Venus and Uranus in Gemini make people quick to want to make out, but not to make up. Mars, Saturn, Neptune, and Chiron in Aries do not help a damned bit. They are more than willing to light the fuse and watch the group chat burn.

So while everyone else was correcting each other’s wrongthink, I went inward.

Which sounds mature.

It was not.

Because when the Moon entered Aquarius, la luna lit up my 8th House of secrets, the occult, power plays, other people’s money, and emotional crime scenes. I was more than ready to burrow into a new rabbit hole.

So much so, I posted a Note on Substack.

One of my favorite subscribers responded with a suggestion.

And just like that, I was on the case.

I had not been following the Tyla/Rihanna Met Gala conversation.

This year I had not watched the Met Gala1.

I had not formed a take.

I did not even know who Tyla was, which says less about her relevance and more about my current Bravo-brain condition.

So it was perfect.

Before we get into the alleged party foul, let me say the quiet part out loud.

Not every celebrity topic belongs in my hands.

I was personally all over the Blake Lively discourse, but I knew I could not write about that one.

Why?

Because I would bring my own baggage into the analysis. And you know I do not pack light.

Blake activates my petty circuits.

I would not analyze her. I would litigate her face, her tone, her ponytail, and her entire aura. I would post videos like this.

That is probably not good astrology.

Cosmic Sushi subscribers come here for the tea, some laughs, pattern recognition, and maybe one more tool to help navigate the simulation. So my rule is simple: if I cannot read the room without setting it on fire, I leave the room alone. I share more about this in my Cosmic Code of Conduct.

The Tyla/Rihanna Met Gala moment passed the test.

Because this was never really about whether Tyla said hello to Rihanna.

The clip was small.

The projection was massive.

This was about feminine hierarchy: who sits on the throne, who is allowed near it, and what kind of reverence women are expected to perform when power is already in the room.

The internet did not just watch a Met Gala interaction.

It staged a trial about rank.

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The Pop Up is what happens when the sky says something loud and my Aries Venus is too impatient to wait to publish. This is as an experimental format for paid subscribers— timely, pointed, and probably a little unhinged.

Today’s is on the house because the Sun is opposing my natal Uranus and he likes it arbitrary.

Yesterday I was on Substack… briefly.

I got completely overwhelmed.

I logged TF off.

Why?

Because yesterday and today, we have a fiery Moon in Sagittarius.

With Jupiter exalted in Cancer and squaring all the action in Aries, this Sagittarius Moon is super-charged, overly optimistic, and ready to wage the next Last Crusade.

And while Jupiter squares Mars — the planet of war, drive, and identity — in Aries, we may feel a sudden urge to finally slip out of our Snuggie and demand that everyone “say my name.”

But the Sun, now grounded in Taurus, is like:

“Before we push off on the next road trip, can we at least pack snacks and a backup pair of undies?”

Mercury has finally left Aries and is in Taurus too.

Meaning the mind is slowing down. The nervous system wants something real. The body would like to be consulted before you start another ideological war in the comments section.

Meanwhile, Venus in chatty Gemini is now in mutual reception with Mercury in Taurus, which means she’s giving him the full itinerary:

Clean rest stops. Decent lighting. Sephora vending machines only.

And with Venus escorted by Uranus in Gemini, manifestations can come lightning fast.

So fast you may need to hold on to your falsies.

So what are you doing on the internet right now?

It’s Taurus season, yo.

While plenty of people are doomscrolling, fighting with randos, and pledging allegiance to the ideology-of-the-day, I booked trips, gave myself a mini glow-up, and actually materialized things in the 3D realm.

Yes, Venus in Gemini likes quick, preferably flirty comms.

Yes, Uranus in Gemini likes it tech.

But you may be missing a window to make shit real right now.

Because Pluto stations retrograde in Aquarius on Wednesday, May 6 at approximately 10:34 AM CST.

Translation?

The area of your life ruled by Aquarius is about to go under review.

Power. Groups. Technology. The future. The place where you pretend you’re detached, but absolutely are not.

So before the underworld opens the group chat, ask yourself:

What could you make real today?

And maybe more importantly:

What would happen if you logged off long enough to actually do it?

Tell me in the comments: what have you manifested this week other than online trolls?

On May 1st, we have a Full Flower Moon at 11° Scorpio at 12:23 PM CST.

A Full Moon in Scorpio has x-ray vision.

It sees our attachments disguised as “preferences.”

The fear beneath the boundary.

Our obsession hiding under the tasteful little “I’m fine.”

And because this Full Moon opposes the Sun in Taurus, we are dealing with the axis of worth, desire, possession, and power.

Taurus is the first earth sign of our astrological year. This is the archetype of fixed earth.

At its best, this Venus-ruled sign is sensual. Grounded. Dependable. Loving. Tasteful.

Picture the perfect brunch partner.

At its worst? Taurus is greedy. Jealous. Unyielding.

A brunch partner who was keeping count of the scones you ate, btw.

The Sun is opposed by a fallen Moon in Scorpio.

Scorpio is the archetype of fixed water. Intuitive. Passionate. Sexual. Magnetic.

Whereas the shadow expression of Taurus is possessive, Scorpio is obsessive.

Shadowy. Intense. Volatile. Ravenous.

That brunch you went to?

Scorpio ensures that you picked up your part of the tab and pro-rated the tip, girl.

And we would be like this too if the underworld were our home.

You see, Pluto and Mars co-rule this sultry sign.

And these malefics are both protagonists during this Full Flower Moon.

In the same way the Full Moon in Libra asked how we show up in partnership, this lunation is relational too.

But this time, the relationship is between our self-worth and our fears around personal power.

Taurus asks: What do I value?

Scorpio asks: What has power over me?

Read more

The Pop-Up is a format reserved for paid subscribers — timely, pointed, and probably a little unhinged.

Some days, Uranus makes me do something weird. On those days, I share.

Uranus went into Gemini last night. So here we are.

Last night, Uranus — planet of revolution, disruption, and inconvenient liberation — entered Gemini and moved into my 12th House.

The 12th House rules secrets, sleep, self-undoing, isolation, ashrams, hospitals, mental institutions, and all the places your unconscious starts rearranging the furniture without asking permission.

So, naturally, do you think I slept much?

Likely not.

I was too busy mentally padding the walls of my bedroom in advance.

Somewhere between half-sleep, caffeine residue, and whatever state comes before astral projection, my mind started cataloging the cosmic upgrades we’re all undergoing right now.

Upgrades, you ask?

YASSSS.

Most of us are familiar with the personal planets: the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars.

They move quickly. They affect our moods, impulses, conversations, attractions, reactions, and daily dramas.

But the outer planets?

Slower orbits.
Longer timelines.
Generational impact.

And to have three outer planets — Pluto, Neptune, and Uranus — plus both social planets, Saturn and Jupiter, all changing signs within the same compressed window?

This is not subtle, babe.

This is not “new year, new me” bullshit.

This is the collective getting upleveled at the same time.

And instead of letting these thoughts rattle around my skull at 2:00 AM like loose change in a haunted vending machine, I decided to capture them for you at a respectable hour.

So here we go.

Pluto: New Device Upgrade

“But I don’t want a new device, Cosmic. Mine works perfectly fine.”

I know.

Mine does too.

The old device may still turn on. It may still have your photos, contacts, notes, passwords, and emotional support apps.

But eventually, it stops supporting the future.

When you’re the last one with a BlackBerry and everyone else has left BlackBerry Messenger, the fun is kind of gone.

Pluto is not interested in your attachment to outdated systems.

It forces a full device upgrade in the area of life it’s transiting — not because the old version never mattered, but because it can no longer hold what is trying to emerge.

In your 1st House?
You may become a completely different person.

In your 7th House?
Your relationships may no longer recognize the version of you that used to tolerate them.

In your 10th House?
Your career identity may get wiped, rewritten, and reinstalled under a more honest operating system.

Due to its irregular orbit, Pluto changes signs every 12–20 years. It will be in Aquarius for a long stretch, transforming our relationship with technology, networks, communities, power, rebellion, and the future itself.

Most impacted: Aquarius, Leo, Taurus, and Scorpio.

Uranus: Unplanned iOS Update

Sure, if you’re like me, you can try to delay the update.

You can hit “remind me later.”
You can ignore the notification.
You can pretend your current operating system is fine.

But eventually, your apps stop working.

The interface gets weird.
Your friends are sending FaceTime reactions you can’t receive.
Someone mentions a feature you don’t have.
And suddenly, you realize the disruption was not for your personal punishment.

It was to update compatibility.

Uranus does not disrupt your life just to be rude, Sharon.

It disrupts what has become too fixed, too stale, too predictable, or too small.

And Uranus in Gemini?

That is not a gentle software patch.

That is upgrading your iOS while the network jumps from 3G to 10G.

Electric.
Instant.
Mental.
Unsettling.

This transit will reshape communication, media, language, transportation, learning, technology, and the way information moves through the collective nervous system.

Most impacted: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.

Neptune: The Fun New TikTok Filter

You are naturally gorgeous. I know it, you know it.

But Neptune is the filter.

When Neptune transits a house in your chart, it blurs reality in that area — sometimes beautifully, sometimes dangerously, often both.

It can make things look softer.
More romantic.
More spiritual.
More cinematic.
More meaningful than they actually are.

Pretty privilege? Maybe.

Projection? Definitely.

When Neptune is active, other people may not see you clearly. They may see what they want to see. A dream. A muse. A fantasy. A savior. A villain. A warning label in lip gloss.

And over time, if Neptune is moving through a major part of your chart, even you may start asking:

Wait.

Is this real?

Neptune in Aries brings fire to the fog. It spiritualizes identity, desire, courage, anger, and selfhood.

The danger is delusion. The gift is inspired becoming.

Most impacted: Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn.

Saturn: Two-Factor Verification

Saturn is two-factor verification.

Again.
And again.
And again.

It asks:

Are you who you say you are?
Can you prove it?
Can you prove it under pressure?
Can you prove it when nobody claps?
Can you prove it when the fantasy wears off?

Saturn, planet of structure, consequence, discipline, and restriction, tests the house it transits.

It does not hate you, I promise.

It just refuses to let you build your identity on vibes alone.

So yes, Neptune may give you the filter.

But Saturn is standing beside it with fluorescent lighting, a full-length mirror, and a clipboard.

It is there to make sure you still look like that from every angle.

Saturn in Aries asks us to mature our relationship with selfhood, anger, action, leadership, independence, and desire.

Most impacted: Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn.

Jupiter: Promotional Period of Free Upgrades

Jupiter is the promotional period.

The free upgrade.
The bonus room.
The “for a limited time only” expansion package.

Jupiter, planet of growth, expansion, wisdom, belief, and abundance, expands the house it moves through.

Sometimes that feels amazing.

Sometimes it feels like your suitcase exploded in public.

Because Jupiter does not only expand the good stuff. It expands whatever is already there.

Opportunity.
Appetite. (Yes, you can gain weight during a Jupiter transit)
Faith.
Drama.
Delusion.
Confidence.
Consequences.

All of it gets bigger.

Jupiter has been moving through Cancer, expanding themes around home, family, emotional safety, nourishment, belonging, memory, and the places we go to feel held.

For Cancer, Capricorn, Aries, and Libra, this transit has been loud — sometimes sweet, sometimes swollen, sometimes a little too close to the chest.

But there may be some turbulence before the seatbelt sign turns off.

With Jupiter squaring planets in Aries, the growth may press up against communication, drive, ego, and the very human desire to be right, loud, fast, or first.

Then Jupiter enters Leo.

And the upgrade changes theaters.

For Leo, Aquarius, Taurus, and Scorpio, the lights come up.

But early in the transit, Jupiter in Leo faces off with Pluto in Aquarius.

This could become a battle of connection versus performance.

Where do you plug your beautiful heart in?

Where do you stop performing for the room?

And where do you finally disengage from systems that were never wired to love you back?

So, Yes. The System Is Updating.

That is what was racing through my brain last night.

Not fear.

Not exactly.

More like the strange awareness that the operating system is changing, and all of us are being asked to become compatible with a future we can feel arriving before we can fully explain it.

Pluto upgrades the device.
Uranus updates the system.
Neptune adds the filter.
Saturn verifies the user.
Jupiter expands the plan.

And somewhere in the middle of all of that, we are still expected to sleep.

Awesome.

Thank you for attending my caffeine-fueled cosmic TED Talk.

Tell me in the comments: how is your sleep since Uranus entered Gemini?

Cosmic apparently needs coffee

This is a format reserved for paid subscribers — timely, pointed, and probably a little unhinged.

Some days, Uranus makes me do something weird. On those days, I share.

The exalted Sun in Aries moves into Taurus tonight at 8:39 PM CST.

With the exalted Sun ruling Mars, Neptune, Saturn, Eris, Chiron, and Mercury, Aries likely showed up like a bottle rocket in a dry field: fast, loud, reckless, and potentially life-altering.

Taurus saunters in high style. Earthy. Grounded. Rooted. Stable.

With an exalted Moon today, Venus at home, and Uranus at the 29th degree, there is a beautiful, momentary grounding.

Taurus is the archetype of slow luxury. If it were a drink, it would be amaretto: smooth, sweet, and typically served on ice. Likely a digestif after an amazing meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant.

Aries? It is more like 151 proof. Infamous for its flammability. Discontinued due to “safety reasons.”

But the Moon shifts to trickster Gemini at 11:15 AM CST.

And with Venus entering Gemini herself later this week on Friday, April 24, and Uranus following shortly after on April 25 at 8:45 PM CST, they will be asking us to hold their beer. Also on the 25th, Pluto in Aquarius squares the Sun in Taurus, bringing us to a crossroads between standing ten toes down in our values and the urge to individuate or rebel.

The quickening is almost here. Are you ready?

P.S. If you mix amaretto, 151, and beer, you get a Flaming Dr Pepper. Which, now that I think about it, may be the most honest possible summary of this week’s astrology. And makes this Aries thirsty.

Tell me in the comments: are you limbered up?

A Cosmic Sushi Pop Up for Paid Subscribers. Timely, a little unhinged, and written while the sky is still alive.

On Friday, April 17 at 6:51 AM CST, we’ll have a New Moon at 27°28’ of fiery Aries.

As the first New Moon of the astrological new year, this is a big damn deal. And it does not arrive alone.

Beyond its regularly scheduled meeting with the Sun, it is joined by Neptune, Mercury, Mars, Saturn, Eris, and Chiron in steady procession.

Aries is cardinal fire. Impulse. Drive. Passion. With Mars, its ruler, and the Sun, exalted, both in Aries, this is not a cozy bonfire with friends roasting marshmallows.

This is a cosmic incinerator.

Jupiter, exalted at 17° Cancer, craves comfort but knows that if it does not act, it will have to go it alone one way or another.

Venus, at home in Taurus, knows what she is worth and has the receipts. Quirky yet brilliant Uranus at 29° Taurus is twitching and ready to shake some shit up, likely around financial institutions, communications, and strategic alliances.

And then there is Pluto, the cosmic change agent, in sextile to a fully in-charge Mars. Together, they are calling everyone out: if you do not identify who you are by the time Saturn, Mercury, and Mars meet on Sunday, April 19, with the Sun at the anaretic degree of Aries, they will do it for you.

But front and center in this lunation is Chiron, the wounded healer, at 26° Aries.

This minor planet speaks to our core wounds. Where we feel wronged. Outcast. Done outright dirty. And while the pain never fully disappears, Chiron asks us to rise above it and do something with it. To make meaning from our scars. To turn the wound into a weapon, or at the very least, wisdom.

With the Sabian symbol for 27° Aries being “A Large Disappointed Audience” and Chiron in tow, this New Moon is not about gentle manifestation mantras and candlelight.

It is about doing the damned thing.

Doing it scared.
Doing it alone.
Doing it out loud.
And doing it even if it hurts a bit.

Read more

Pop Up is what happens when the sky says something loud and my Aries Venus is too impatient to wait to publish.

This is a format reserved for paid subscribers — timely, pointed, and probably a little unhinged.

Some days, Uranus makes me do something weird. On those days, I share.

Today the Moon is in Sagittarius. It’s the ultimate explorer. Think astral traveler. Big dreams. Even bigger stories.

Right now, it’s trining crotchety Saturn in Aries. The Moon wants to hit the highway already. Saturn says: pick a damn lane. Early tomorrow morning, the Moon will trine an exalted Sun who basically has Saturn’s back: pick a route and turn your high beams on.

And while not all who wander are lost, Mercury and Mars are still in watery Pisces. Our thoughts and actions feel like swimming upstream, unsure where we’re going, while our bathing suits start to chafe. An exalted Jupiter in Cancer, still squaring the Sun, reminds us to keep the faith. We’ll be safe enough so long as we stay our unapologetic selves.

Venus in Taurus sextiles the North Node in Pisces. She reminds us to assert our worth. The North Node reminds us we’re still valuable even if we don’t have it all figured out and shit is messy AF. Today is the day to extend ourselves grace, knowing things don’t have to be perfect for us to be worthwhile.

Tell me in the comments: do you even have a map still?

A Cosmic Sushi Pop Up for Paid Subscribers. Timely, a little unhinged, and written while the sky is still alive

Before anyone says it — yes, the cover is more Sixteen Candles than Pretty in Pink. It’s Aries season. We’re doing what we want.

Today, April 1, 2026, at 9:12 PM CST, we’ll have a Full Moon in Libra.

This is both the perfect and the weirdest moon for me to write about.

Perfect because it’s top of mind and because it’s an astrological axis I know too well.

Weird because it opposes my natal Sun in Aries at 12°, marks my personal solar return, and lights up my Libra North Node — something I’ve spent a lifetime trying to understand.

Read more

The Pop Up is what happens when the sky says something loud and my Aries Venus is too impatient to wait to publish. This is as an experimental format for paid subscribers— timely, pointed, and probably a little unhinged.

Today’s is on the house because Venus conjuncts my natal Venus and I’m feeling all the love.

Today at 11:01 AM CST, Venus enters Taurus. She slows down, knows her worth, and slips into something slinky that shows off her curves. She’s only rolling Uber Black. Don’t even ask to Uber Pool.

With the Sun exalted in Aries, Jupiter exalted in Cancer, and Venus entering her home sign of Taurus, we’ve got a sky with serious standards. We are redefining who we really are (Sun). We are growing from a deeper place of emotional authority (Jupiter). And we want to be properly valued for what we bring to the damn table (Venus). And if you don’t? Don’t expect a call back.

Saturn at 5 Aries sextile Pluto at 5 Aquarius can help us bring real structure to who we are becoming.

This is deeper than a brand refresh. This could be an entire mission statement rewrite.

But with the Moon in Virgo opposing both the North Node and Mercury in Pisces today, we could be a little too self-critical while trying to compose our new manifesto.

With the Pisces fog beginning to lift and the sky shifting into Aries and Taurus, now is about direction, not perfection, baby.

So make the call. Say the thing. Take the step.

But whatever you do, make sure you’re wearing fantastic shoes.

Tell me in the comments: are you brave enough to Uber Pool?

Be an enabler and buy me a sake 🍶

Today, a newly direct and exalted Jupiter in Cancer squares Venus in fiery Aries.

Jupiter is naturally expansive. In Cancer, emotions swell, instincts protect, and suddenly the nest feels worth enlarging.
Venus in Aries, meanwhile, wants what she wants now. She is bold, impulsive, and very capable of mistaking intensity for inevitability.

Translation: watch yourself for a surge of impulses you may regret — in love, money, or arguments you do not actually need to have.

With a Pisces New Moon approaching and Mercury still retrograde in Pisces, clear thinking is not exactly at its peak.

Be honest. Did you text your ex back?

If you haven’t, congratulations.

If you did, you still have time to stop that s%&t.

Today is not for making definitive decisions or reopening old doors that should remain hermetically sealed. Nor is it for kicking open new ones. That’s for Aries season, bae.

So put the ex back on the shelf. And do not sprint into a new fling either.

Beneath all the mess, though, the Pisces New Moon is asking for something softer:
not a dramatic decision, but a surrender.

Old identities. Old fantasies. Old emotional addictions. Old dreams handed to you by fear, family, culture, or conditioning.
Let them go.

This is not the moment to force the future.
It is the moment to release what no longer belongs in it.

Today is really simple:

1. Remember the magical being you once were before all the bullshit programming, lies, and propaganda taught you to feel small.
   You remember.
   Back when someone asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” we would immediately blurt out astronaut, princess, or keeper of the realm.

2. Once you get back there, the New Moon asks:
   How are you going to make your dreams come true in this new world?
   And can you please not lose your magic again?

Uranus in Taurus sextile the Sun in Pisces wants us to loosen our grip on inherited dreams, stale values, and borrowed fantasies.
So stop getting lured by dreams that were never yours to begin with.

When the Sun moves into Aries on Friday and Mercury gets its emotional act together and goes direct, you better have your wands polished and ready to go.
That’s when the show starts.

Tell me in the comments: did you text the ex back or not?

Mercury RetroActive

Mercury is at his chattiest when he is in Gemini. He is at his most practical when he is in Virgo.

I had not published this transit to the general public because I was bracing.

Mercury retrogrades are relatively common. We get 3–4 a year. No biggie, right?

Normally I wouldn’t blink an eye. I was born with Mercury retrograde. I am used to…

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Lately the United States hasn’t been, well, united.

Whatever side of the aisle you sit on, one thing everyone seemed to agree on: release the damned Epstein files already.

On Monday, September 8, 2025, the House Oversight Committee released the oft-mentioned, never-seen Epstein 50th Birthday Book. I write about it here.

This release at 2:51 PM EDT — the day after the Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse at 16° Pisces — was a perfectly timed accident for a cosmically controlled sleight of hand.

Two eclipses within 24 hours: the first lunar, the other digital.

A “look here, not there.”

A momentary flash before re-submerging into the news-cycle abyss.

The transiting Moon had just left Pisces, conjunct Saturn, to enter 0° Aries and immediately rejoin Neptune.

Pisces rules illusion, dissolution, propaganda.
Aries rules identity, provocation, war.

A transient outrage before the next barrage of headlines: Israel bombing Qatar. Russia’s drone incursion into Poland. The event was eclipsed again by the public assassination of Charlie Kirk on September 10.

Did you miss the book release? Me too.

When I first flipped through the redacted Birthday Book in September 2025, it felt grotesque and almost absurd — a scrapbook of power with half the names blacked out.

But the book was never the point.
The timing was.

This is Part 2 where I detail the Epstein Eclipse story.

Orbiting Epstein

When I began drafting this piece in September, I was focused on the eclipse symmetry alone.

The artifact was strange.

But the cycle was stranger.

What follows is the full eclipse architecture — mapped across 2006, 2025, and the ongoing DOJ disclosures.

Read more

Today, Jupiter crosses my 3° Cancer Ascendant. After a year-long 12th house exile, I thought I had been waiting for this day for just one year.

After doing my research, I stand corrected.

W.T.Cosmic.F.

Read more

Absolutely every Libra or Libra Rising I know personally has DM’ed me in the past three weeks.

Every. Damned. One.

The ones who actually admit how they feel have confessed to being in some kind of emotional upheaval.

And of course, they’d come to me.

I’m an Aries Sun (with a Cancer Rising) who adores astrology and always knows what’s going on with the stars.

But do Libras really want to know what an Aries thinks right now?

Read more

Full Moon in Sagittarius – June 11, 2025

12:43 AM PST / 3:43 AM EST

Not gonna lie:
What a hell of a week for a full moon.

During a typical Full Moon, the main event is usually just the Sun and Moon — a cosmic clash that invites tension, stress, accidents, and general emotional mayhem.

But this Full Moon?
Might just be the opening bell for the main event.

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New moon arrives tonight at 11:01PM EST / 8:01PM PST

This one’s in the sign of Gemini — ruled by Mercury and symbolized by the ever-curious (and sometimes mischievous) twins. Mercury governs both Gemini and Virgo. In Virgo, he’s serious and self-effacing. But in Gemini? He’s all over the place, obsessed with novelty, fresh ideas, new learning, and anything involving communication.

As the moon begins waxing over the next two weeks, now is the time to set new intentions you’d like to manifest by the full moon in Sagittarius — which lands on June 11, 2025 at 12:43 AM PST.

So yes, kick the bad twin to the curb (at least temporarily) and let’s set something productive in motion.

Read more